Dear Cleotha,

What’s up, dude? Long time no talk! Even though I AM you, we’ve been really distant from each other lately. I’ve missed you and I’m writing this letter because I’m really worried about you. It’s 2017! March is just around the corner and you started this year out just as all the others, hopelessly optimistic but not very focused on achieving anything. You haven’t spent much time working on your craft (whatever that is amiright?!?) or working on us. You know what it is you have to do but you keep hesitating. Why?

Consistency is something you’re always going on about, but you’re the least consistent person we know! Consistency scares us because it makes us feel…what…old? Boring? You’ve wanted to be cool for so long and fit in and you have that! Look around you! Do you not realize how many people you have in your corner that believe and are rooting for you? THEY see your potential but why are you constantly avoiding it?

Remember those 30 Day resolutions you started doing about a year ago? 3 month…going great…and then back to doing nothing again. You keep raving and telling people about it and yet you won’t commit to constantly working on yourself. You see, saying I’m a “work in progress” means that you are continuously evolving. The greats that you study and look up to never allow themselves to get comfortable. We’ve gotten so used to these bullcrap reward systems that we’ve grown accustomed to that because we’ve worked a 40-hour workweek we feel we deserve to go out and….do what exactly? You don’t know anymore, do you?

You feel that itch. You feel that burn. It’s time to move forward and stop being stuck in your childish ways. I’m not sure when we became an adult but here we are! You have worked hard at not being an old man who looks back and sees nothing but regret but you’re slowly becoming him. You’ve let so much bull from elsewhere get in your head and try to cloud that light that you can’t deny lies within you. You now know that dreams take hard work, dedication and CONSISTENCY…yet you avoid it? Again I ask why?

I’ll tell you why. Change is scary. Growing is scary. This world is scary. Seeing so much of what you believed crumble in front of you is SCARY. You failed once and you’d rather stay put than fail again. I gained back all that weight I lost and I’m afraid to mess up again. What a failure! Your parents should be ashamed! You went off chasing your dreams and now you’re just giving people cigarettes and gas for a living! Oh! how the mighty have fallen! So let’s just eat our pain away. Let’s just drink and party and forget and keep going. Let’s just stay here….yet the world keeps moving and time keeps on ticking. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Cleotha. Reader. Listen. We deserve happiness. We deserve long lives and to thrive and succeed in this cruel mistress called life, but we have to work for it. I’m not going to lie, I’m a mess right now. I let my job wear me down and I don’t spend enough time with myself anymore. In a week I hardly do anything that I want to do. I’ve become the very adult I didn’t want to be and I’m so comfortable being that person….I’m scared. I’ve always put so much pressure on us and is it hard to believe that sometimes bad things happen? Sometimes great things happen and you don’t have to take yourself out of that moment and question “WHY!?!?!” all the time, just enjoy it!

We have a list of things to do for March for our 30-day resolution. The one thing I can say is that when I write something down I tend to commit to it. I know we’re working on being more present and get out of the clouds for a bit, but there needs to be consistency. I’ve laid off of traveling until I have a certain amount saved up because I had to cancel my first vacation and that hurt. I’m trying to be so much for everyone else that I put me to the side. Maybe I’ll get it right this time, or maybe I’ll be writing this letter to myself again in a few years. I’m just tired of us being afraid. You’ve let life get to you and that sir is no way to live.

So get up and once you hit publish go and make something happen. Clean your room and shower, oh, and don’t be afraid to grow. What a wonderful time to be alive, don’t miss out on life dude. I love you.

Cleo

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s