Writing was something I needed to do. With so many thoughts swirling around my head I need a way to make sense of them all. From 2005-2010 I kept up a series of blogs on Myspace.com. Life got in the way and my writing took a back seat.
I read through those very blogs tonight while listening to music and the tears fell slowly as memories that I thought I’d never forget came rushing back. Revelations that, at the time, meant so much that became another underdeveloped thing in my life. As I read through my old blogs I noticed a recurring theme.
I was 25 the last time I wrote a blog and here I am, 29 years of age, and just as lost as I was then. To say that things haven’t gone as I imagined would be an understatement. Reading through my old thoughts made me realize how little I’ve changed over the last decade. Sure I’ve experienced the highs and lows that life could bring but at the core I’m still the same person I was 9 years ago. Each year I proclaimed ‘THIS WILL BE THE YEAR I CHANGE MY LIFE!’, only to let some challenge knock me back down to square one again and again. So now what?
I’m not going to sit here and say that this is the moment where everything changes. I’m passed that. Actions speak louder than words. This is step one. I missed writing. I missed having a place to put down moments that I’m sure I’ll forget as time goes on. People who made an impact that I thought would always be around but alas were only just a moment in this story of my life. I want to have a place to check back on throughout my life and remind myself of my journey. If nothing else I want…I need…somewhere to vent. This is me taking action once again.